Straight from the cutting room floor! The following table was a submission for the book 50 Fantastic Functions for the D50 published by Goodman Games. My submission “50 Meaningful Motivations for NPCs” made it into that book, but sadly, this little gem did not. Hopefully this lonely table can find a loving home somewhere in your campaign.
50 Unpleasant Side Effects
by Stephen Newton
Your wizard mixing potions again? Your ranger brush up against an alien fungus? Need to spice up your spellburn? Grab your trusty d50 and stick it to your PCs!
| d50 | Result |
| 0 | Hives / Boils / Rashes |
| 1 | Nausea / vomiting |
| 2 | Obnoxious Body odor |
| 3 | Skin covered in fungus |
| 4 | Bleeding Gums / Teeth Fall Out |
| 5 | Bloody Stools |
| 6 | Skin turns to stone |
| 7 | Bleeding out of orifices (eyes, ears, elsewhere…) |
| 8 | Seizures |
| 9 | Extreme Weight Loss |
| 10 | Hair falls out |
| 11 | Body emits a soft glow (potentially making stealth difficult) |
| 12 | Flesh starts sloughing off |
| 13 | Fingernails and toenails fall out |
| 14 | Mottled and discolored skin (or skin turns yellow, green, pink, translucent, etc..) |
| 15 | Skin turns completely rubbery |
| 16 | Extreme weight gain in one limb |
| 17 | Swelling of the extremities / skin pouches form on the chest & back |
| 18 | Extremities turn black and brittle |
| 19 | Blurred vision / temporary blindness |
| 20 | Frequent dizzy spells (vertigo) |
| 21 | Swollen tongue / slurred speech |
| 22 | Extreme sensitivity to light |
| 23 | Extreme sensitivity to sound |
| 24 | Giant chancre sores |
| 25 | Incontinence |
| 26 | Random hallucinations |
| 27 | Open weeping sores |
| 28 | Insufferable itchiness |
| 29 | Uncontrollable flatulence |
| 30 | Hair grows completely over face |
| 31 | Fever / body emits a noticeable and uncomfortable heat |
| 32 | Eyes, mouth, and ears become caked with mucous |
| 33 | Painful cramping |
| 34 | Stiffness of joints / paralyzation |
| 35 | Profuse sweating |
| 36 | Covered in pox / bubos |
| 37 | Uncontrollable shaking, spasms |
| 38 | Uncontrollable vocal outbursts |
| 39 | Debilitating headache / migraine |
| 40 | Feathers grow over the body |
| 41 | Body starts giving off an audible hum |
| 42 | Foul-smelling discharge from orifices |
| 43 | Enlarged eyeballs |
| 44 | Shortness of breath / difficulty breathing |
| 45 | Numbness across random places of the body |
| 46 | Periodically and involuntarily falls asleep |
| 47 | Inability to remember anything longer than 24 hours |
| 48 | Teeth transform into gold |
| 49 | Spine bends – PC transforms into hunchback |
